I was speaking with someone this morning. They were telling me what they want out of life. How they see their life playing out in a specific manner. How certain things do fit in and others don’t fit. In an instant, my whole life shot through me - all the plans - all the broken hearted moments… Then I thought about the people around me, their plans.
I thought about a specific person I knew who set off on a life journey to see the world and then find love, to experience life. I saw her years - many years - later, seriously almost ran into her at a grocery store. We agreed to meet and catch up. I looked her right in the eye as I am inclined to do too often. And there in the store I could see her break. I could see something that is never talked about. I could see a fully grown lost person. She told me later when we met to talk, that she had planned and gone and seen so much, lived in beautiful places, worked on projects that helped people…. but she had walked away from a connection - she had walked away from the one true love she had ever had, because she had the “strength” to do so. She saw others at the time around her - her parents for instance - who were not happy, stuck in dead-end jobs, talking about their high school and college days at 40 at 50. And she made the decision to leave this person, this perfect human connection, and set off to see what she could see. Now she is alone, and so is the person who once loved her dearly. She sought him out she said, and, although he was not bitter, he could not be with her. This was a sad story to hear, and a lesson to me -
I am writing this because I believe human “connection” is what makes life worth living; what causes explorers to explore, writers to write, inventors to invent, and so on. When two people meet, fall in love, and have children, what makes the children strong and beautiful is not the “thought” and “planning,” but rather the strength and fire of the connection of their parents. The admittance their parents made that the connection they had was larger than any respective plans they had. Larger than seeing China. It is in the stories these parents tell their children holding hands in the dying light of cool Autumn nights like the evenings that are upon us.
Here is to love and the proud people unafraid to love - who do not let anything stand in the way of the wonderment, beauty, and undeniable strength of the bond between two human beings…The connection.
The person I was talking to this morning, stopped for a second, and I found myself blurting out - without thinking - “I just want to be sure to wake up happy every day that I live.” and that was that.
I do wake up happy every morning. I take comfort in that I have the inner strength to reduce my own comfort in order to help others to find a new and better path in life. My family worries greatly for me, my mother especially. And my way of living was always a worry to my father when he was alive.
But, all-in-all, after the fires of conflict pass, when the brutal truth is swallowed, my family I think is proud of my blundering - although i believe they wish they might instill a bit of self confidence in my spirit. II think all of us in society, are proud of and look up to those who have the strength and belief to live for love - to not see it as a sacrifice, but to trust in and be humble in the face of it.”